"Hold what ya got!"

Lessons I Learned from My Father.

We were hanging sheet rock from the ceiling. I found out that day that hanging sheet rock is not an easy thing to do. There we were, my father and me. We lifted one sheet together, up and over our heads. Then I was instructed to center myself under it. He would then go to work nailing (with a hammer and nails) as quickly as possible. All the while he would say "hold what ya got, hold what ya got!."

Now I should let you know that my father is a trained carpenter. He knew what he was doing. He had hung sheet rock before and this wasn't new to him. All of it was new to me! Yet, he patiently instructed and encouraged. When all was said and done, we had covered the entire ceiling. It looked pretty good too.

That wasn't the only time I heard my father use that term, but it was the most memorable - "hold what ya got." Those four words have resonated within my spirit from then until now.

That experience with my father taught me that 1) Experience is a teacher. I mean that in two ways. Firstly, every experience we have can teach us something we didn't know before. I had never hung sheet rock before then. Now, even though I haven't done it much since then, I am confident I could do it again with no problem. Secondly, the experienced and wise heart is willing to teach the inexperienced. Because he had been trained in that trade, my dad knew what he was doing. He also knew that I had no idea what I was doing. He was able to teach me his own experience.

I also learned to 2) Manage what I have in my hands first. There was no way I could do anything else. And I didn't have to. All I had to do was hold what was in my hands. If I tried to hold the sheet rock up and nail it in, I would have failed. If I tried to handle more than one sheet at a time, I would have failed. I learned my lesson well. I can't do everything all the time.  I have to manage my priorities and hold what I can manage and no more.

A third lesson I learned was this: 3) I have to be able to trust. Amazingly, my dad trusted his untested teenager who had never been taught or trained in carpentry to help him with a major renovation task on his home. This was not a small thing. We didn't start with baby steps here. One mistake on my part and time and resources would have been lost. Yet, he extended to me one of the most valuable commodities that can ever be extended from one person to another: Trust. In doing so, he taught me the value of it.

Finally, this experience taught me that 4) I can because I have to. He never said these words directly, but they were felt as we - by we I mean "I" - struggled to hold that sheet rock in place. If I let it go, I risked hurting myself and hurting him. I also risked damaging the trust that he placed in me. I also risked tearing up the ceiling! (No pressure.) I had to listen. I had to do well. And I did.

If you want to do great things and have success, take a lesson from my father - "Hold what ya got!"

IF...

Over the next seven days, my posts will consist of lessons learned from my father. The value he has added to my life is immeasurable. I am a better man today because of him.

Over the years, I've come to realize that some lessons are learned by watching the resilient determination of motivated men. Other by seeing the disappointing brokenness of wounded men.  Most men can probably say they learned the lessons of both from their fathers.

One famous example lessons learned from a father is immortalized in the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling. It is one of my favorite poems. I'm starting this series of posts off with the full text of the poem "If." Enjoy!

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!