Think. Over and Over.

As a single footstep will not make a path on earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.

Henry David Thoreau

 “For mine eyes have seen thy salvation, Which thou hast prepared before the face of all people; A light to lighten the Gentiles, and the glory of thy people Israel.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭2:30-32‬ ‭KJV‬‬

http://bible.com/1/luk.2.30-32.kjv

Let There Be Light

I've been reflecting on this most wonderful time of the year very much recently.
The songs... The lights and decorations... The TV Specials... The weather... (I'm in Atlanta so that only means so much.)

I've also thought about the competing narratives we hear and see so often during this season of the year: The story of a young lady, soon to be married, who is visited by and angel and given life-changing news and the competing story of the latest pair of shoes or the hottest toy that will release in limited quantity and are must-haves this year. The story of a hurried journey taken by a pregnant woman and her betrothed, riding on a donkey, to a far place and the narrative of the latest model vehicle decorated with a giant bow sitting in the well-manicured driveway of an immaculate house on a quiet street in a beautiful neighborhood. The story of the birth of a child who would change the world and the story of lists and "toys" and ribbon and wrapping paper and trees and food and...

And, well, you get the point, I'm sure.

You and I both know very well that Christmas is more. Christmas, for me, is so much more than the latter of these competing narratives. And the scope of what Christmas means goes beyond the wonderful celebration we look ahead to with earnest anticipation. I hope over the next few days to share some conclusions I've come to as a result of my reflecting on these things.

Today, I want to share this thought: We were in darkness. He brought LIGHT.

The Bible says that in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless empty, and dark. Not the most exciting place to be. There was no beauty there. No brilliant lights, nothing glorious; nothing even hinting at it. Just a shapeless, dark void.

But God was there. 

This is significant. There before him lay something that was completely undesirable. 
But, God knew what he was doing.

God entered into the massless, shapeless terrible darkness. And in the middle of this horrific, gross darkness He spoke. His very word caused the cosmos to tremble and shake and respond to his command: "Let there be light." And there was light.

This is Christmas.

He shows us in the first two verses of the entire book what everything hinges on.

There was darkness. He brought light.

The story is replete throughout scripture. God enters into dark places to connect to his people. Then brings light into the darkest and most hopeless situations to reveal Himself and His glory to his people. 

This is Christmas. This is why I celebrate. Because of the assurance that Light is come and darkness is no more. and because of the hope that Light will come, and darkness will forever be no more. 

---

“And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and it’s lamp is the Lamb... Amen. Come Lord Jesus!”

What kind of extremists will we be?

If you have never done so, take a half hour today and read "Letter from a Birmingham Jail."

Feel the sinceretiy, authenticity and conviction of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 

And, my hope and prayer for you, as a result of reading and being inspired, is that you will take bold action in your sphere of influence and beyond to pursue racial reconciliation and all the beauty and glory which accompanies it.

Your Best Year Ever! 5 Tips for making this a great year.

It's that time of year again! Out with the Old and in with the New! This is the time of year when we make - "resolutions." (Cue the dramatic music.) These resolutions can include anything and everything in a general effort to be a better you. We say we'll lose weight, get a better job, get married, you name it! And you're not alone! According to a study done by the University of Scranton, nearly half of all Americans include making a New Year's Resolution as a part of this annual celebration. The more telling statistic, however, is that less than ten percent of those who make resolutions are successful in achieving them.

Have you ever felt like you've got no traction? As if you have gotten to another "end" and you have nothing to show for it? That is probably how the other half feels - the 55% of people who rarely or never make New Year’s Resolutions. The pain and disappointment of not realizing a goal or falling short of one can be absolutely devastating! 

I don't generally catch “resolutionitus,” but I do see the beginning of a new year (and the beginning of a new month and week and day, for that matter) as an opportunity to start fresh and get something done that hasn’t been done yet. And despite the potentially devastating fall-out, starting is worth it. 

So here are some tips for making this year (or this day) your best ever:

1.     Set Goals
You may not be one to make New Year's Resolutions, but goal setting is a key to a happier, more successful you. You can't get where you want to go if you don't 1) decide your destination and 2) take actionable steps in the right direction. 

2.     Write It Down
Take a moment and write down your desires, aspirations and goals. Be specific. Then write some actions steps you could take to get started. Don't spend hours and hours trying to make this perfect, just get it out there. While it isn't magical, this one step will help tremendously as you strive to attain your goals.

3.     Schedule It
Schedule time to work on your goals. Michael Hyatt has said often, "What gets scheduled gets done." Get a calendar and set an appointment for that goal. Or set a reminder in your phone for a certain day and time. You may not be the "schedules and appointments" type, but don't overlook this! You will increase the likelihood of completing the task in front of you and moving closer to your goals if you schedule time to work on them.

4.     Share It
No, don't post it to Facebook and Twitter. While some of us are totally comfortable doing that, you probably want to be more selective in where you share your goals and who you share them with. Identify people who can add value to your life and encourage you toward your goals and share with them. Part of the benefit of this is that those who have your best interests in mind can help you course correct before you miss your goals. And, you won’t have to live down harsh criticism if you miss your goals.

5.     Be Persistent
Whatever you do, don’t stop pressing forward. Keep going. Don’t give up!
Yes, you will have rough days and sometimes they will turn into rough weeks, but don’t allow those hindrances to derail your future. Take a breath and then take another step. Be persistent.

You are more likely to Start, Follow-through, and finish your goals if you adopt these five tips in your normal routine.

Question: Did you use any of these tips to set goals for the New Year?

Ending and Beginning.

We are at the end of the year again! I know, and I agree, it's hard to believe 2014 is over already. It's the time of the year when we get the "Best of 'Whatever'" and "Top 5 or 10 or 20 or 100" lists. We're in that time where we wind present things down and gear up for what's next. 

Before "what's next" gets here, I want to challenge you to consider what other things in your life need to come to an end. 

Now, consider what needs to begin..

What's Stopping YOU?

Let's Begin.

What have you learned today?

What have you learned today?

Have you considered that question today? At any time in the past 24 hours have you taken inventory of what you heard or read? Have you heard or read or seen anything new and intriguing and thought provoking?

We move quickly from one moment to the next, from one hour to the next, and from one day to the next without stopping often enough (if at all) to ask this simple question. No doubt you have heard the question before. And, if you are a parent, you are likely among the countless thousands of thousands who ask this question of your children on a daily or weekly basis. But do we stop to ask ourselves what we've learned?

My challenge to you is to learn something today. That's all. Learn something. Go out of your way to find and digest some new piece of information just for the sake of learning it. And don't forget to enjoy!

It's Worth It...

You may have heard it said, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right."

Think about that. 

Now ask yourself, "Is what I am doing worth doing?" 

Does it warrant the time and effort you are giving to it? Have you considered how much time and effort it will require? Is it worth it?

If it's worth it, do it. And do it well. 

What is Leadership and How Do We Do It?

What Is Leadership? That simple question has challenged some of the best minds in the world. Prolific, world-class thinkers, speakers and authors have undertaken the task of attempting to define leadership. Each thinks he knows it when he sees it and each tries to describe this illusive idea. No doubt they do “know it when they see it,” but definitions are different from descriptions and leadership is no easy thing to define. Peter Drucker said “the only definition of a leader is someone who has followers.” Warren Bennis said “leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality.” John Maxwell said “leadership is influence – nothing more, nothing less.”

While I certainly agree that these men offer true and compelling elements of leadership, I think that they are only elements. You and I realize (if we are wise enough to step back and look well) that we only see a part of a whole. We describe what we see and do so well, but we only see so much. Each definition, or, rather, description, is correct but must include more than what is offered. Many bosses, supervisors, managers, commanders, C-level executives, politicians, etc. have “followers.” That does not make them leaders. I can write a book and “translate a vision into a reality,” but if no one reads it, am I leading? “No,” should be your response. And it would be a correct one (even if the book was good!) All I would have done is write a good book. Leadership requires the ability to influence others, and that definition is short and pithy and easy to convey, but it lacks depth. I could just as easily say manipulation is influence. Without something extra to qualify the statement “leadership is influence,” it hits the mark…then fizzles. Each definition must include the other and more.

Before I go further, let me say that I don’t presume to know more than these gentlemen and I certainly don’t mean to undermine their experiences. They saw leadership and described and explained what they saw. They see leadership and describe and explain what they see. I want to step back and look at more. I realize that if we focus in on one thing we do so to the detriment of other things as we attempt to put our finger on the pulse of this illusive idea. The closer we are to a thing the less we really see of it. It’s only when we step back that we can see more and more of the whole thing. Leadership is…  What do you see?

How Do We Lead? Answering this question is just as difficult, or more so, than answering the question of what leadership is. If we believe that a leader is someone who has followers, and we stop there, we will find ourselves failing in our ability to lead and to do it well. We will focus on the amount of people who read our blogs or retweet or like our posts or comment or read our books or attend our seminars or “follow” us. And I mean that both inclusive of the social media world and the rest of the world. We can use the social stratosphere as one example of people having hundreds or even thousands of “followers” but not fulfilling the role of a “leader.” Again, the focus is too narrow. The same goes for translating vision or influencing others. If we stop there, we miss so much.

I have not seen the whole of what leadership is and I don’t want to offer a simple or incomplete answer to either of these questions. (I know I would find myself in the same position everyone else finds themselves in when we try to define such a dynamic concept.) I do, however, want to offer a few observations on how effective leaders lead.

They Share Vision. Leaders have vision. Good or bad, effective or ineffective, one thing we can agree on is that leaders have vision. Good, effective, “follow-worthy” leaders share vision. They present their vision in such a way that the people around them are compelled by what they hear and see and are willing to commit themselves to the shared vision of the person they now view as a leader. Mutual ownership is a key to a shared vision.

They Share Responsibility. Effective leaders recognize the strengths in others and the weaknesses in themselves and are willing to share the responsibility of realizing the vision. They don’t simply delegate. They offer the people who follow them the opportunity to lead alongside them. Through shared responsibility, they maximize the efforts of those they lead.

They Understand Authority. (This is a hard one.) They understand that giving someone responsibility is only a first step. Effective leaders realize that if their influence or organization or cause will succeed and grow, both responsibility and authority must be conveyed. Responsibility without authority is handicapped. They know they can’t go it alone, so they confer authority to those who follow them so that their shared vision and mission can be brought into existence.

They Trust. Effective leaders trust the people they lead. They trust that the responsibility they share and the authority they convey won’t be abused or mishandled by the people they lead. They are willing to give without holding back because they are confident that the vision they cast was shared by the people who caught it. (And they are confident in the people who caught it.)

They Have Trust. Effective leaders not only trust those they lead, but they have the trust of those they lead. One of the most challenging tasks in the world it to attempt to lead people who don’t trust you. Trust is crucial. Les Csorba said “leadership is character in motion.” While I feel his definition should be grouped with the others to help add depth and breadth to theirs, I feel his touches something that many leadership definitions don’t touch. It puts morality into leadership. (Or, rather, puts morality back into leadership.) Somewhere along the way we lost this crucial element and we have stumbled like men walking in the dark ever since. Effective leaders have the trust of those they lead.

Charisma and drive and stature and skill and ability are good. But those qualities don’t make you a better leader. Those qualities make great followers more often that they make great leaders. Those qualities are important, sure, but those qualities are not everything. Leadership is not personality. Leadership is not what we can do. 

Leadership is…. What do you see?

"What a lovely thing a rose is..."

"...Our highest assurance of the goodness of Providence seems to me to rest in the flowers. All other things, our powers, our desires, our food, are all really necessary for our existence in the first instance. But this rose is an extra. Its smell and its colour are an embellishment of life, not a condition of it, It is only goodness which gives extras, and so I say again that we have much to hope from the flowers."- Sherlock Holmes, The Naval Treaty

I began my 2014 reading list the same way I ended my 2013 reading list - enthralled by the quick wit and even quicker deductions of the most famous consulting detective in the world! I have always enjoyed the stories Sir Arthur Conan Doyle presented of Sherlock Holmes and his biographer and friend John Watson, but I admit I have not read all of them. So, taking up the challenge last year, I began to read. (I am one of those strange people who thinks reading is at least as cathartic as writing.) When I came to the tale of The Naval Treaty, I was not expecting the jewel of a statement I discovered tucked away in this short story. 

"Our highest assurance of the goodness of Providence..." I paused for a moment and continued. "Seems to me to rest in the flowers."

"Wow!," I thought. "How True!"

"Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these."  - Jesus, Matthew 6:28,29

The beauty and grace and fragrance and delicacy and strength and potency and simplicity and complexity of flowers really ought to amaze us as well as convince and assure us of the goodness of providence. Our greatest achievements are accomplished only by decades of diligent and persistent work. A rose buds and flowers in a few short days and in that time gives us all we could hope for or imagine for beauty and all we could delight in for fragrance. It challenges our senses and arouses our curiosities. It pleases us in so many ways. And all these things, as Holmes says, are "extra." 

We don't need roses to live. They are not invaluable to our survival. We can (and most probably do) get along just fine day in and day out without ever considering a rose. But when we do consider it, we understand that the embellishment of a flower can transform a day, any day. That "Extra" can lift our hearts and spirits. And it is only goodness which gives extras.

I Agree with Holmes. We have much to hope from the flowers.

Advent

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. 
(Luke 2:11-14)

Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the new born King,
peace on earth, and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled!"
Joyful, all ye nations rise,
join the triumph of the skies;
with th' angelic host proclaim,
"Christ is born in Bethlehem!"
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the new born King!"

Christ, by highest heaven adored;
Christ, the everlasting Lord;
late in time behold him come,
offspring of a virgin's womb.
Veiled in flesh the Godhead see;
hail th' incarnate Deity,
pleased with us in flesh to dwell,
Jesus, our Emmanuel.
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the new born King!"

Hail the heaven-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Sun of Righteousness!
Light and life to all he brings,
risen with healing in his wings.
Mild he lays his glory by,
born that we no more may die,
born to raise us from the earth,
born to give us second birth.
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the new born King!"

The Substance Behind the Shadows

Over the last two weeks my family and I have been preparing for and celebrating the Christmas season like most families likely are. We pulled boxes down from the attic and began "decking the halls." We put a wreath on the door and erected and decorated the Christmas tree. The fireplace saw its first fire and we prepared the stockings which will hang on it.

This Christmas, however, is different. It will be our daughters first Christmas! She's 8 months old so she won't remember very much this year, but my wife and I will make memory after memory after memory. We've already begun taking dozens of pictures and they will soon be eclipsed by the hundreds which will follow. The joys and delights of the season have always been a joy to me and the memories I have of Christmas past are precious to me. I now have the privilege of creating and cultivating traditions and memories for my daughter and I've been giving it a lot of thought. What do I want her to think about Christmas. About Christ? About gifts and trees and traditions and family and celebration and food and a dozen other "Christmas things?"

The fruit of my contemplation will undoubtedly produce good things for our family's future. One such thing is an intentional concentration on Advent. I don't recall ever focusing on "Advent" as a child, but (my wife and) I decided to make it a part of our family tradition. I found a little book called Good News of Great Joy: Daily Readings for Advent by John Piper and began on December 1st reading and meditating with my family and filling our home with Hope. Today's reading was especially stirring. Here is a snippet:

"Here’s an Advent illustration for kids (and for those of us who used to be kids and remember what it was like). Suppose you and your mom get separated in the grocery store, and you start to get scared and panic and don’t know which way to go, and you run to the end of an aisle, and just before you start to cry, you see a shadow on the floor at the end of the aisle that looks just like your mom. It makes you really happy and you feel hope. But which is better? T he happiness of seeing the shadow, or having your mom step around the corner and seeing that it’s really her? That’s the way it is when Jesus comes to be our High Priest. That’s what Christmas is. Christmas is the replacement of shadows with the real thing."

As I consider the Christmas season and as I consider my role as a husband and a dad I am overwhelmed by the position I find myself in. I am, in a sense, only a shadow. My wife and daughter look to me to be strong and courageous, gentle and comforting, wise and true. I am provider and protector and priest of my home, but my ultimate aim is that they would look past me. That they would see the substance behind the shadow. That in my loving my wife and raising my daughter, they would see the love of Christ and the care of a greater, stronger more wise and compassionate father. And not only see it, but become overwhelmed with the joy of what seeing means: that they would run to and embrace the real and great God who makes the wonder of Christmas what it is.

So are you looking at the shadows or the substance behind them? I challenge you to look past the "ordinary things" and the shadows and see the "real thing."

Action v. Progression

There is a 

COLOSSAL

difference between action and progression.

Merry-go-rounds move. Roller coasters move. Carousels move. 

But movement, or action, is not the same as progression. Many things that move, like carousels simply go in circles but never take you any place. Others, like roller coasters, take you up and down and are full of excitement! But, in the end, they stop at the same place they began.

Neither gets you anywhere. 

The GOAL should be to connect to and associate yourself with those organizations, people and/or groups that are Progressing.  Those that are pressing forward, gaining ground and advancing intentionally.

It takes Action to Progress. You can't move forward without moving. What we need to avoid is mistaking our motion for momentum. 

TAKE ACTION

• Identify a Dream or a Goal that you want to accomplish. 
  (What do you want to do? Be? Where would you like to go?)
• Clarify that Dream or Goal. 
  (Be specific. Be More Specific.)
  
• Identify/Create Action Steps
  (What are the Steps that will help you Reach Your Goal?)

Make sure that when you move, you are getting closer to an ultimate goal. Anything less is just taking you in circles.

What are you doing to day that will get you where you want to be tomorrow?

A Vision of Excellence

Do you have vision?

More pointedly, do you have a personal vision of excellence for your life? 

When you do what you do, do you have a high standard set for yourself? A standard that challenges you and stretches you and forces you to evaluate your performance and get better? That's what I mean when I say "a personal vision of excellence."

Take a moment and think about that. Most of us have gotten past that stage in our lives (if you went through that stage at all) when we felt C+ work was good enough. We recognize that A and B work is necessary for success. But do we do our best for the best reasons? Doing great work is good. We get accolades and attention. People see it and are impressed. But that seems pretty shallow to me. Why not do your best work when no one sees it? Why not excel behind the curtains, out of the spotlight, because you value what you do and why you do it? You see, the thing about a personal vision is its "personal." Sure people may see you work and be impressed, but you don't work to impress them. Your vision is set higher.

I came across this quote a few years back and it still inspires me. I hope you're inspired as well. 

"The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion.

He hardly knows which is which. 

He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. "

- James Michener

Independence Day

"[Independence Day] will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more."
  - John Adams

Happy Independence Day!

Finishing.

Now that's a great feeling! That feeling you get when you know you've accomplished something. When you complete a worthwhile task. When you read the last words to a book. When you write the last words to a book, or a paper or a blog post...

Finishing is amazing. So, why do we do so little of it?

How many people start diets or exercise regimens and don't finish? How many books don't we finish reading?  How many projects and plans are left undone? And why?

I remember the first time I ran a race. The feeling I got when I crossed the finish line was exhilarating. I didn't win. I didn't even place. But I finished. That was worth something to me. It still is.

Finishing is valuable. So why do we do so little of it?

And what if we don't simply don't finish? What if we decided that accomplishment was overrated and that proficiency and execution didn't matter? Can you imagine that kind of world? There wouldn't be much to imagine... there wouldn't be much at all!

Finishing is important. So why do we do so little of it? 

Three reasons come to mind as to "why?'

1. Fear of Failure
2. We Value Something Else More
3. We Have Yet to Start

I suggest we work on overcoming fear, place proper value on the right things and begin.

Here is the challenge of the day:

Go Finish Something!

Remember Me...

This lesson was a difficult one to learn. Why? Because on more than one occasion, I have not remembered.

Photo courtesy of QuiKe Photography & Video

I learned this from my father, but it wasn't a lesson he taught in a phrase. Nor was it an observation made based on a pattern of behavior I saw in him. He never asked to be remembered. And while I know that he would appreciate being remembered (everyone does you know) he is not the kind of man who would ask to be. I learned this lesson by looking at him and realizing how valuable his life and influence are to me.

I remember, on one occasion, having an opportunity to introduce a panel of guests to a platform. There were several gentlemen there, distinguished in their field, who were to address the conference. My father was on the platform as well, but he was not speaking at this event or sitting on any panels. His role was similar to mine. It was minor. When I spoke, one by one, I mentioned every man on the stage. Every one except my father. He took his turn and shared his part and I wouldn't have given it another thought except that someone brought it to my attention that I spoke of every man with good and kind words, but I did not mention my dad. I didn't remember...

I remember another occasion, when I shared with a gentlemen who had become my mentor some details of a decision I was wrestling with. In order to give him a clearer picture of my situation, I shared a little history to provide context for the decision. After I received the counsel of my mentor, and after I began to implement it, I realized I hadn't gotten any input from my father. I didn't remember... 

Those two experiences (and many, many others) taught me to remember my father. I learned that his experience, wisdom and input are invaluable. Even if I don't agree with him or if I think I know what he'll say, it is worth hearing him say it. Here are a few reasons why:

My dad is one of the most humble men I know. He is down to earth and a little plain. "Arrogant" or "unsociable" or "unapproachable" are no where near the radar when it comes to describing him. If you knew him, you wouldn't say he had an iota of flamboyance.

My dad is smart. He has no letters behind his name, but he is observant. He listens, That's more than can be said of many men I know. That one trait alone make him more intelligent than most.

My dad is caring and kind. There is no clearer picture of this than in the way he raised my siblings and I. And in the way he continues to care for my brother, David, who has cerebral palsy. He and David share a unique bond forged in laughter and service. Everything important I learned about service I learned from my dad. I've been to conferences and read books on the topics of servant leadership and service learning and service "everything else," but they didn't show me a servants heart. My dad did that.

My dad is generous. He has sacrificed time and time and time and again to give. Whether it be to a stranger or to a friend or most of all to his family, my dad has shown what it means to give till it hurts.

My dad is  a thousand other great things. As my siblings or my mom and they will tell you. Ask his siblings or in-laws and they will tell you. Ask the people who now him well, the people he works with or the people who have only met him once or twice and they will have good things to day about David L Mouton.

And if you ask me, I will tell you as well. I will remember. 

I am grateful for every lesson I learned from my father.

Fight!

My first fight was in elementary school. Like most school fights, I have no idea what we were fighting about. I don't even remember the other kids name. It was probably something tragically insignificant. We most likely started to fight only after being goaded on by our classmates. I remember taking off my shirt. It was a particularly nice shirt and I didn't want it to get dirty. The noise increased, the crowd gathered, and we went at each other.

Funny thing is, I don't believe either one of us actually landed a punch. We just tussled around until someone told a teacher. No one "won." The worse thing actually happened after the fight when I went to retrieve my shirt and found out it had been stolen.

Now, my dad didn't hear about the schoolyard fight and decide to teach me how to fight. As far as I know, he didn't find out at all. And while I knew he was quite capable of hand to hand combat (my dad is a Marine) I never asked him to teach me how fight and he never offered. And I mean never. My dad didn't teach me how to form a fist or how to hit or follow through with a punch. We didn't even play wrestle. But he did teach me to fight.

Knowing how to do something and knowing to do something are two different things.

I learned from my schoolyard experience that some fights are not worth the time or energy. I also learned that you might not win and end up with less than what you started with (i.e. my nice shirt). I learned from my father that some fights are worth the time and energy and pain and frustration and annoyance and tension and everything else that comes with them.  The difference is the kind of fight. A schoolyard fight is almost never worth it. But fighting for your marriage or your family or your integrity - always worth it.

One example: My parents celebrate 34 years of marriage today. That is remarkable for several reasons, the primary reason being that marriage is hard. To make it worse, he didn't have a father to show him how to be and stay married. His dad was not in his life. He could have used the absence of his father as an excuse to leave his wife and his children. He didn't. He could have used the fact that he had five children all under 7 years of age as an excuse to leave. He didn't. He could have given up when he faced seemingly insurmountable obstacles in raising his family and loving his wife. He didn't. Things became difficult. If you ask him, he might even say they still are. He could have found any excuse he wanted. He didn't. We don't hear about longevity like that in marriage often. I am thankful for their example.

I mentioned that my father didn't have his dad as an example to teach him how. But, again, knowing how to do something and knowing to do something are two different things. My father taught me that. He may not have known how to lead and raise a family, but he was determined to do it. His determination was enough to get him started and he learned the rest along the way.

His is only one of hundreds of examples of understanding following action. The two clear takeaways from his example, though, are 1) determine what is important and what is at stake and 2) Fight for it!

I told you that to tell you this

I grew up in church. My father is a preacher and pastor. Growing up, hearing him preach or teach every week, I picked up on patterns or repetition in his speech pretty quick. One thing he would say just about every week, multiple times even was "I told you that to tell you this" or some variation of that phrase.

He would say this in order to be as simple and strait forward in his presentation as possible. This phrase became a mechanism he used to explain the foundation he was building as he spoke before going on to the application or takeaway. When I was younger, it was just "a thing my dad always said." As I look back, I see it as more than that. I see it as a lesson on the importance of building a foundation.

From that I draw two applications. The first has served me well as a public speaker, teacher and minister. 1) I learned the value of developing a good introduction. Whether I am delivering a speech to a group of students or leaders, teaching a class or sharing the gospel, I've learned that building a foundational introduction helps prepare the audience for the main portion of the talk. It also prepares the hearts and minds of the hearer to act.

The second has served me in many other areas of life and has a much broader application. 2) I've learned that establishing strong foundations enable us to move forward. "That" comes before "this." So, practice comes before performance. Study comes before understanding. Financial literacy comes before financial freedom. You see where this can go. In order to grow, expand, and move up, a strong foundation is required. So, what foundations are you building?